Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Rewrite History! Well science to be precise ;)

Put yourself in the shoes of any historical figure, and 
describe at least one thing you would do differently.

         Ever since i read this prompt in IndiSpire last night, i have been automatically thinking about several 'historical figures'. I got to say the most heated one was about Telangana. But since that's a stinky topic, i left it. I mean what should i write about? All i see is leadership wasted on unimportant things and such. I thought about Gandhi, researched a little too but by this evening somebody already put a post on it and that discouraged me. Besides, it's not that interesting. By evening i have run out of ideas and began asking others, what they would do. Needless to say, most of them just shrugged, some even said 'come on dude! I am not having enough time to think about work only, how could you think about such stuff leisurely? '...oooh! wrong person! until one person gave me a quick witty idea..yeah! I am not taking credit for it but i liked it a lot so here i am writing about it. Strictly saying, the more i thought about it, the more i liked it. Wanna know why? well, i will take you there too. 

        The concept revolves around a historical figure, and how would anyone know about such personalities? School...right? Yeah...this assumption doesn't involve you history dweebs, if there is one in my readers. God, i hate them so much! Why would you go to such lengths to find interesting facts in the history, understand things just through scripts fully, trace interesting myths and bust them with pure wit, and most importantly remember all that stuff for years to come until you tell your grandkids such amusing stories? Okay...who am i kidding? I love them!! I mean....Mummy? Indiana Jones? ....that is a never ending list! I don't hate them so much as i am jealous of them...very very jealous! I mean howww? God knows i would trade for that kind of memory! In the mean time , me with my pea brain am still just ignoring and hating you, you lucky-awesome-eyesore(for me) bastards! 

         Oh!! When i went to school (it wasn't that long ago...just like 8 year ago ;) ), how i hated carrying all those books every-damn-day, only i know. Sometimes i used to get scar marks on my shoulders for carrying those bags too much. Bags are like whips but just less sexier  harsh. And all of those damned text books are because of some of these historical figure assholes. But then, whom should i pick? A tricky question, isn't it? Let's see...what are the big books? English (big assed wren and martin)? naah...i love English. Although i hate how it was forced onto all of us (those bastards) the fact that i could understand people all over the world (through internet - even translation works mainly because of english only ri8?) is just awesome. Then Social? like history and stuff. F**k it, if not one person, that damned history will be full of someone else...there is no escaping the inevitable when it comes to history! So..maths? maybe..but who? Aryabhatta? Wait! That stuff he did with zero (you know he invented the '0' and all) was pure awesomeness. As a bro who understands awesomeness like none other and hence connected by awesomeness-brotherhood (besides he is from India), i couldn't disgrace him. Then it hit!!

         Such derivations, such assumptions, such hypothetical theories, such awesomeness, has what made today the way it is! That Einstein and Newton dudes (although my bro's from awesomeness-brotherhood - Sigh! It was a difficult decision alright!) are going to have to take fall for this! There is just no other way!  I picked Newton!

           If i was Newton, i would have just eaten the damned apple! Seriously, Y U NO EAT THAT APPLE? (#trollface)

         If you had just eaten that apple, atleast for a few more centuries i wouldn't have to carry those damn bags....wait! That would put me in one of those slave driven centuries....oh no! Oh well! I have trouble thinking, being me.....what could i possibly think being someone else and comeup with something better? Pheww...that's a lot better! Besides, i am sure all these books are going to be replaced by kindle's and ipad's in near future. I will definitely strive for that!

     While i was looking up this above pic for newton, i came across some interesting meme's,  but i don't want to fill the post with heavy pictures so check the few hilarious ones out below.




The above post was written for Indiblogger's IndiSpire topic mentioned at the start of the blogpost.

Picture Credits: Shamelessly Stripped from Google Image Search!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Race!

         Today i was driving to office absentmindedly as usual. What can i say? Sometimes everything you see is a trigger for something like driving the free over bridge feels like sliding on the children's slide! Since there is so much traffic i am forced to drive the muddy sideways which feels like playing Motocross with all the ups and downs. Have you ever played this game? When i was a kid, my friend G used to have this game and a few other small ones. Everyone used to go there after playing cricket on the Sundays. But since i suck at cricket, i skipped that and directly came only to play the games. Oh! I remember his dog, hairy little dog, who hates to be petted in front of strangers but i still managed to pet him though! Wait! What was i saying? aah...see what just happened? These days, now that the road is familiar to me i feel like i am sleeping with one eye during my drive too!

          But suddenly i was brought back to reality when someone crossed me so sharply i thought he is going to fall sideways and is also going to make me fall for the first time here in Hyderabad. But somehow he managed it and that infuriated me beyond words for some reason. Logically it was a save! I should be happy but i don't know what happened but i began racing him. Mentally, the referee blew the gun and all the traffic is obstacles and this is a obstacle bike race. Its not like i raised my front tyre into the air and zoomed in okay, but more like restlessly go into this and that small spaces to move forward overtaking a lot more people driving normally. He is driving a Apache RTR scarily what? I am driving CBZee and i live off the edge..!! At second gear or third at max, we accelerated and hit brakes in succession while going so many times that i felt that this must be muscle memory. He is quick to pick up speed at any time, and i can recognize a straight line through traffic when i see one. He went through cars, i used cars to streamline my way and quickly go to the sideways again. He is quick to make the curve, i am good at handling the speed breakers efficiently with out loosing much time. 

         This madness went on for a while, until we had to wait for the traffic signal and then we zoomed in on green and we both couldn't see the speed breaker ahead and jumped a little bit (only a little bit because ..come on i am just on second gear) but then i didn't understand why i am doing such a foolish act? I mean, am i not doing something very similar to why i got angry in the first place? This is not a speed race to get the thrills or did i get thrills from this also? This made me think, why was i angry in the first place? really? I couldn't put a finger on it and when i looked at him, i only saw me! It is someone else, but i felt like i am not in a race with him but myself! But what is the purpose of this meaningless fight? I don't know. I couldn't explain why i got so fired up but maybe i am not really fighting him, i am fighting with myself. Because sometimes you just can't let go and let others go ahead. Sometimes, you need to fight for yourself. After all, you are the only one who you can depend on with out any strings attached! 


Did i ever speak about Dilbert comics?The creator Scott Adams is just amazing! No words can do justice, seriously! To conjure such wit, i always wonder just what goes on in him mind? If you compare it with Xkcd, Xkcd has arcs, so if the arc concept is better, the strips in that arc gets good and the normal strips are I mean there are really good ones but overall you know. But when it comes to Dilbert comics, every strip is like a arc. Sometimes, i laughed it off even after several hours of reading it. Maybe its just me because i could relate to him easily. I still remember the day i read Dilbert life coach book and i cried of laughter in office library! I just couldn't resist! Here goes one!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Amusing A to Z challenge

              I am officially participating in the a-to-zchallenge's A to Z April challenge. Usually, i keep myself away from challenges since - you know - i get cold feet or as a person i read quite aptly put it 'because of my own inhibition', but this seemed like a very easy challenge. As you can see, all i have to do is make the concept of the post something relating to a word starting with the letter-of-the-day and i have got quite a few ideas already. Besides, there is one other thing about why i was so interested in this challenge. If you have noticed my blog's address, you will notice the 'A as in Absurd' part, aptly titled i must say, is surprisingly aligned to the challenge's objective. It surely must be a sign right? So i thought, why not? So there! I even put up the widget yesterday on the right. 

         All of this happened last week. I was very much into this challenge that i started drafting concepts, doing research and other stuff in my office itself! Yeah, I am very dedicated to my office work. But here's the funny part! Today, on a whim, i changed what i wanted to do for the challenge. I dreamed of an amazing story - oh wait! its just so so. I don't wan't to get your hopes up even before i started working on it - that i dreamt about recently and remember the main character and outline of the story even after waking up. Yeah, that is so rare, seriously, i wish i could sleep blog! The more i thought about it, the more magnificient (read somewhat interesting) the story gets. So i decided i will write a novella!

       Ever since i read a novella named 'Harry's hut' written by this guy, i wanted to write one. Since i am more into myth, magic and other sci-fi stuff the story will be in those lines. Damn, no more spoilers! So expect stuff like that and encourage me to write better. I started working on it just a few hours ago and although i wrote only very little, like 3 para's, i am really enjoying this! Well, this stuff is like eating a fresh delicious pizza to my mind or rather as HIMYM fans would say, it's like eating a sandwich! Couldn't let that one go :D


Coming to the hyped promised comic strips in every post ( I already forgot to include it in my previous post though *silence of shame* ), here's the first one! Everyone who is a fan of comic strips or not, knows about Calvin and Hobbe right? Ever wondered what's their first comic strip? Well, savor this!

Warning: Beware! These comic strips are more contagious than Bird-flu :P

Saturday, February 15, 2014

My lucky stars and a hilarious follower!

          All week i am struggling to write a post. Its not that i didn't get any ideas on what to write but several things stopped me from doing so. The first two days i want to write something but i told myself that it would be better if i waited and wrote it during the dark of night where my mind will be at peace with out any disturbances. But that time never came, i mean i delayed everything until i am so exhausted i had to hit hibernate and sleep. Its still a mystery how time flies by when i am trying to procrastinate and holds very still when i am doing something important but constantly distracted by something. 

        I always have this conflict with in myself. If you know what you are doing is important but you are still getting distracted, doesn't that mean what i am actually doing takes less priority than that distraction? If it was really A-priority why would i even be distracted in the first place. Sometimes i yield to this logic and happily procrastinate but someother times i just plainly regret i did that but would satisfy myself that since it was already done why bother about it? tell me that's a good attitude right? Yeah, That's the best! Don't you worry! Ofcourse you would say that! Afterall it's what you say that i listen to most of the time!! And you agree with it right? ufff....Calm down! He is just a ghost! 

        Well anyway after those two days i stopped kidding myself but then i found an interesting fact. I am able to open wordpress from my office network! is a big deal. Since we have something called websense which basically blocks everything that is good in the internet. Okay, I may be over exaggerating but thats just how frustrated you get, I mean sure i agree offensive sites shouldn't be accessed from office network but don't you think that you can leave it up to your employees to make the decision of not visiting them instad of dictating terms. You will block the torrents naturally anyway because of restricted software instalations but why this? Totally unnecessary usage of resources i say! oh wait! What was i saying?..yeah yeah about that wordpress access. I made a purely logical comparision of using Wordpress over Blogger just because i can access it from office! i know! i know! It doesn't make actual sense to decide over it but as you see, i was having this writers block and i thought if i can write posts from office, i could probably write more often. It's a far faraway assumption but i hoped it just might give me that boost. But then, i thought about you, my readers! Although not many, i think i can actually count you guys with my fingers how many and you not leaving comments doesn't help either. So i began researching how to migrate all posts from blogger to wordpress and maintain both of synchronously. Migration was well, as easy as pie but maintaining both blogs in sync is where i had difficulty. Needless to say i sought THE IFTTT for this task and began testing many recipes, you know to post any new post that i post to blogger into Wordpress and viceversa. It was a success from blogger to wordpress but no matter what recipies i used i just couldn't get the posts from wordpress to blogger which is what i needed in the first place. So thinking about it i decided to test even more recipies for it but you should only imagine the shock i got when the next i couldn't access wordpress also! My face had an expression like one of those troll faces i just never imagined possible to actually enact! I just wondered about the lucky stars that i was born under! I thanked god for this wonderful life (pun intended) and came over it after some time. I was kind of thinking that i could use the excuse that i was trying these syncing recipies but alas now that it also failed what do i write about? But you still wrote about that!! Stop trolling me you backstabbing bastard!\

        So what i actually wanted to write about said something?(*pointing a imaginary gun towards him...i mean the other me*)..naaah! go ahead!..hehe ( *wicked laugh* ). So while i was testing wordpress, i found something interesting. Actually a lot of bloggers say it sometimes but i just wasn't sure about it. So here i am testing wordpress. I just created a test blog and posted some test posts which are clearly titled First test post, second test post and such so i can be sure when they are reposted into other platform. But when i posted some 3 posts, i got a mail notification saying that someone liked my blog in wordpress. Well, i did create a dummy blog to associate this blog but haven't posted anything in it yet. I only posted into the test blog, so i was curious as to who it is and i opened the mail. Surely, someone who appeared genuine to me liked this so called Second test post. I thought may be she found this hilarious and liked this post but it also says that this blogger said my blog is awesome and inspiring! I am dumbfounded here. Seriously? I randomly opened a wikipedia page and copied the first two paragraphs. What is so inspiring about it? I wondered if it is just spam but profile is authentic and she maintains 3 blogs which are updated quite recently. I am sure it is a marketing stunt of wordpress. Hell, may be she paid them to increase her followers which is yet to be seen ( that is for another post ). But now i am troubled. Is this spamming good or bad? Wouldn't you have an ego boost if your visitor count keeps increasing rapidly?

      Well, as you can see now i got what to write for this post and also another blog to read. By the way i have lot of catching upon reading blogs and books. I don't even know where to start. My inbox is growing with emails of new posts like it was mail-bombed and i haven't completed my first book in 2014 yet. I wonder if i will complete that 50 book pledge to goodreads challenge.